The Unconventional Bride

Part One: breaking social norms, custom stationary, maid of honor and shoes!

Before you even get the chance to resize your engagement ring, questions about your venue, guest-list, budget and theme start flooding in. Prior to my fiancé, Ben, and I getting engaged, we had multiple conversations about what we envisioned for ourselves in the future. Neither one of us ever pictured having a huge wedding and getting formally engaged only further solidified that. Weddings in the united states have become a multi-billion dollar industry and one quick inquiry with just about any kind of vendor will show you why. What has been propped up as the most special day of your life can run you about a year’s salary, and that is if you’re conservative about it.

The post-proposal stage is so dreamy, you can easily lose all sense and reason. The fact that this is a massively important day in your life is entirely true, and if you’re lucky you only do it once. I really believe that there is no wrong way to celebrate your union. In my opinion, the only way to do it right is to do it however the hell you want. For us, spending tens of thousands of dollars on one night’s party at the very start of our joined lives together felt absolutely insane. While it’s not impossible to have a large wedding on a budget, I personally wasn’t born with the ability to compromise on quality or aesthetics.

Something else I can’t compromise on is vibes, to put it frankly. If my mom had it her way, we’d be inviting my first pediatrician to our nuptials. We’d be inviting distant cousins who would spend the entire night gossiping and aunts who would be learning my fiancé’s name on that very day. Just the idea of spending an entire evening that is supposed to be about us making small talk and catching up with relatives and family friends I haven’t seen in my adult life makes me want 2 die. So, yeah, we’re not doing that.

Standing firm on the decision to not have a large, formal wedding was shockingly powerful. It is the ultimate display of boundary setting and it can not come at a better time. When I realized that we had complete creative control of what this night can look like for us, it felt almost symbolic to the creative control we have for our own lives. In declining to participate in social norms that don’t fit us, we set the tone for the rest of our married life together.

We plan to tie the knot at the Miami Beach Courthouse, an homage to the time we lived there together. To celebrate the joining of our two lives, we’ll be merging our two worlds in an intimate dinner party where we, along with our parents, siblings and best friends can eat, mingle, drink and dance the night away.

At the end of the day, I’m still a girl. Of course I’m spending hours a day on Pinterest. I still want to make this day feel as special as it can be for us and for those who will be by our side.

My best friend, Mary, and I have always talked about the day that we’d be each other’s Maid of Honor. Despite the fact that our wedding won’t have the traditional processionals, I wanted to mark this milestone in our lifelong friendship. I curated a box filled with items I knew she’d love and she’d get multiple uses out of. Because I want these items to be evergreen, I didn’t get her anything marked with wedding jargon but I know she’ll always remember where they came from. I got her a custom L.L. Bean tote in her favorite color that I know she’ll have till we’re grandmas, reusable eye masks from Dieux (one of my favorite skincare brands), an iconic Emi Jay claw clip, a compact mirror from Etsy that I customized with a nod to her business, and some Crown Affair silk hair ties. We are both very practical gift givers so I got her things I knew she’d like but wouldn’t go out of her way to buy for herself.

Isn’t she beautiful?! I am so bad at keeping a secret, especially when that secret is a gift. I spent all of that week holding myself back from telling her she was receiving a package. Watching her open it was sooooooooo fun, such a core memory. We cried on FaceTime. Just girly things.

The opportunity for custom stationary was right in front of me, how could I not take it? Sure, I could’ve stuck the question on there with a post-it and she’d be happy but you know that’s not my style. I went to Etsy and found these gorgeous custom notecards made by a small business here in Florida. I’m just obsessed with them. I was torn between adding “soon-to-be” above the name or not, but again, we’re going evergreen. I’ll be able to use these way past our engagement days.

Speaking of making things special, let’s talk outfits. Yes, plural. Come on, I’m only doing this once I might as well have a little fun with it. As of right now, I’m planning a courthouse outfit with one of my favorite small designers that I wear all the time. I won’t spill all the details, you’ll have to come back to part two for that. I also plan to wear something classic and elegant to the dinner party and then change into something hotter, but I haven’t found what those outfits will be just yet. To know me, is to know that I’m constantly hunting for vintage or pre-loved Manolo Blahnik on the posh (Poshmark). I happened to find these incredible and impeccable peep toe kitten heels and I had to snatch them up. So what if I don’t have 2/3rd of my outfits planned, look at these shoes!

Ciao for now!